Milkshakes and Margaritas — a blog for the modern mom

No More Monsters!! Helping Your Child Conquer Their Nighttime Fears

Many kids are afraid of the dark, and their imaginations go wild. Monster Patrol wall stickers are designed to help give your kids the extra boost they need to get over their fear of monsters, or whatever else might be lurking once you close that door. 

 

Each pack comes with four adorable super heros, each with his own powers. 

Henri’s monster pops make monsters disappear in an instant. Radar’s Monster Blamo Spray wards off monsters and other scary things. Buzzy’s super fireflies help him see monsters in the dark and keep scary monsters away. Jett flies around the room keeping a protective eye out from above. They also come with a cute little radio sticker, where your kids can call on the MP's when any trouble starts.

Have fun with your child while putting these around the room. Let your he/she identify "scary spots" in the room and place the appropriate hero or anti-monster device to help keep the bad things away. Going through the experience of putting these out in the room and having a chance to talk it through, is a great way to work on the fears with your child — as well as putting control in their hands.

These wall stickers are also removable and reusable. So when they change their minds on where they go, you can move them and re-stick without any damage to your walls. 

 

If night time fears are no longer an issue, the super heros are a cute decor item, especially in a vintage inspired room.

Monster Patrol retails for $28 and is available for purchase on the WallCandy Arts website, and are designed and illustrated by myself and the Vega Project.

- Danielle

Saving Your Kids Creations

Our kids are big Lego and block builders. For the past 6 months it has been their #1 choice for play. But the unfortunate part is that they want to save the creations, then slowly "lego erosion" takes place, and the little pieces wind up all over the floor and the masterpiece is broken. Or we end up with a tower of blocks in the living room which I inevitably trip over and knock down, ending in a finale of tears (not mine). 

To resolve this issue, I've started taking photographs of my boys creations. This way we can document what they've made, and are not upset when it's time to disassemble them. I also think it will be fun for them to look back in a year and see what they made. I think this method can work with artwork, clay, or any other creations. The main point is the process and the fun of it, but a keepsake is also important, and the reality is — we can't keep it all.

 

Give the Gift of Garbage for the Holidays

Like a lot of little boys and girls, my 1-year-old loves the garbage and recycling trucks. We run outside when they rumble up our street and stop to watch whenever we see them on our outings. I had a hard time finding a play truck for him that did not have a warning about choking hazards but finally when I was at Target, I found this adorable recycling truck that is also a MEGA Bloks set.

 

He loves lifting the loading arm but also just repeatedly taking the little recycling pieces out and putting them back in. It comes with stickers to turn the Mega Bloks into different pieces of recycling materials, bottles, cans and plastics. And there is a driver and a dog to go along.

My friend Christine also sent him a board book called I am a Garbage Truck that is in the shape of a truck. It walks the reader through the garbage man's job, picking up trash and recycling.

Together they would make a great gift for the holidays.

Sleep Like a Baby-Wise Baby

I'm passing my copy of "Baby Wise" to a friend and I'm feeling nostalgic about it. It may be controversial but I'm standing by it.
 

 

The book, "On Becoming Baby Wise," which advocates placing newborns on a schedule in the first few weeks, is a lightning rod for controversy. A nurse practically hit the Code Blue button after a friend of mine mentioned she was planning to use the book's techniques with her newborn. A team of lactation  specialists rushed in and warned her that it is a dangerous book.

Maybe they are assuming parents are morons. The book is careful to caution that you should always feed a hungry baby, it just assures parents that babies cry for other reasons than hunger, and helps you get through the first months without going insane.

I am a huge proponent of the book and I send it to all my friends who are having babies. Not only did both my children sleep through the night at around 10 weeks, we never had to do the cry-it-out technique to get them sleeping basically 10-12 hours straight nightly. I have friends who ignored the book who either finally turned to the cry-it-out technique, often with the help of expensive sleep consultants, or who just threw up their hands and slept with their children for what seems like well into the elementary school years. But everyone I know who used the book, has happy, well-rested babies -- and are able to get sleep themselves.

Parting with the book is a concrete reminder that my last baby is no longer an infant, that he is growing up. Catcher just turned one and he is sleeping like, well like a baby. Like a baby trained through Baby Wise, that is.

With both our children, people looked at us with amazement and jealousy when we said that our babies were sleeping through the night at 10 weeks (and the long stretches of six to eight hours started much earlier). It wasn't luck. It was the book.

The technique is very simple. You put your infant on a three-hour feeding schedule. With my older son, we waited probably as long as two weeks to start that. But Catcher basically put himself on that schedule from the start. The important part is not to nurse the baby to sleep. So you feed baby and then "play" with him for at least 20 minutes before putting him down for a nap. At first it seems like a struggle to keep the baby awake and there is no reason to torture him if he really wants to sleep. Even keeping the baby awake for a few minutes by changing his diaper can work at the beginning. The main point is to teach the baby to fall asleep on his own without having to be soothed to sleep every time. That way, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can fall back asleep on his own.

Less Sleep For Mommy

  

I just heard about the latest crib recall of more than 2.1 million Stork Craft drop-side cribs and I'm freaked out because Catcher is already asleep -- in his crib -- and I don't know what brand we have because it was a hand-me-down from a friend. And when I went to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission website, I saw that many other brands have already been recalled for the same sort of problem

Apparently, "the cribs’ drop-side plastic hardware can break, deform, or parts can become missing," causing the drop side to detach in a corner, creating an entrapment risk between the crib and the mattress, according to a news release by the Consumer Product Safety Commission. The drop side can also be accidentally installed upside-down, which could create a problem. The recall includes some cribs manufactured as far back as 1993.

To find out if your crib is included, check out the Consumer Product Safety Commission website. Call Stork Craft toll-free at (877) 274-0277 to order the free repair kit, or log on to http://www.storkcraft.com/Recalls.aspx?Recalls=USA

Now I'll be on edge all night worrying until I can inspect the crib in the morning. It is one thing to have a stroller that can cut off your child's finger but it is another to have a crib that can strangle him to death.

There's a New Sheriff in Town

Today, just before his first birthday, my sweet little baby took a turn. After I cleaned out the "trough" (see previous postings on "Fast Food") of his Bibbity bib, he turned to me with a mischievous look and picked up some spaghetti and dropped it slowly back in. The look on my face must have been what he was looking for because he did it again. Then I couldn't help but laugh. Oh no, he is his brother.

When Cash was about the same age, he kept touching the stove and I kept saying no. Finally, we came to such a standoff that he would stand straight bodied about an inch from the stove and just turn around and just look at me as if to say, "Ha, ha, ha." Either that or he'd rub his butt on the stove and laugh.

Since Cash has maintained that defiant and mischievous streak, sometimes driving me absolutely to the end (see Wild Things posting), I'm hoping to nip it in the bud now. Time to pull out, "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child," by Burton L. White. While I had the book when Cash was a baby, I never read it. This time I'm going to be an A student and do the reading! But if that fails, I always have a second chance with "1-2-3 Magic, Effective Discipline for Children 2-12," which gives you a technique to help you to stop trying to rationalize with your kids when they are doing something you don't like.

I don't need another "King" in the house.

iPod Apps for the Wee Ones

Once you get over freaking out every time your child touches your iPhone, there are some great iPhone applications to educate and entertain your kids. This comes in particularly handy in instances such as, mmm, at a restaurant when they bring the kids food out first, the kids are done eating and now you are trying to have your dinner but they just want to go and run around... But I digress.

Cute Math: games that teach math basics
Peek a Boo Barn: behind the barn doors an animal makes a sound and the player has to guess.
Jirbo Match: a super cute memory game (that you can catch me playing once in a while).*
ABC Animals: interactive flash cards that aid in teaching letter recognition and pronunciation.
First Words and Word Magic: the player drags in the letters to spell the right word. 

There are also apps for learning spanish, story and entertainment games and more.

And for Mom and Dad...
Babyphone: turn your iphone into a baby monitor.
Mom Maps: find local parks, kid friendly restaurants and more.

*Dillon (3 yrs) has better scores than I do on Jirbo Match!

The New Baby Book By Gmail

I had big ambitions for my son Cash's baby book. My mother-in-law had passed down the baby book she kept for my husband, chronicling everything from his first foods and when each tooth came in to the time he got the gold ring on the carousel (yes, he's that old). It was overflowing with minute details about his first years. Hoping to capture the moments of Cash's life as carefully, I bought a charming hand-made book from a crafty friend. I bought dozens of scrap booking pages and little accents for them. I never did anything with any of it. And I've uploaded thousands -- literally like 6,000 -- photos to Shutterfly. But I stopped ordering them after Cash's first Christmas. They are just there. What I regret most about the gap between my ambitions and reality is that I constantly thought, "Well, I'll remember that because it was so sweet...or so funny" and didn't take the time to write things down. So many memories lost.

My friend Kate has come up with the perfect solution for the mom who is too busy (or lazy or whatever) to do a baby book or even a journal. She set up a gmail account for her son and she sends him e-mails detailing his life and the memorable moments. That way, there isn't the pressure to carve out time. She can just whip out an e-mail whenever she has something to say. You can even attach photos.

Don't Lose a Little Piggy — Get Your MacLaren Fixed

The first I heard of the Maclaren stroller recall was in an e-mail from a mom who said, "Usually I don't get too flustered about recalls, but severed fingers, yikes!!" Yikes indeed!

Maclaren has recalled about one million strollers because "the elbow joint of the stroller's hinge mechanism poses a risk to the child when the consumer is unfolding/opening or closing the stroller," according to the Maclaren Website.

There have been 12 reports of finger amputations related to the dangerous hinge, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission. The recall includes all Maclaren umbrella strollers.

How to Get Rid of all that Halloween Candy

Once everyone is finished eating gross amounts of chocolate and Smarties, and you still have a big pile of candy that you don't know what to do with, send it overseas. You can mail Halloween Candy to the troops in Iraq through Operation Gratitude. You only pay to ship it to California, and an extra $11 donation covers the overseas postage. They also have YouTube video. You can also visit halloweenbuyback.com. There you can find a dentist near you that is buying back candy from the kids - $1 a pound and sending to troops.

A few other ideas friends have shared with me:

- Pumpkin fairy. Leave out the candy and a surprise is left in its place.

- Design with it. Use it for art projects. Smarties take the place of macaroni pictures. 

- My method... I let my kids pick 10 pieces each. about 5 of those disappear, somehow... and they eat the rest over the next 2 weeks. Then we're done. No arguments so far!

Operation Gratitude/California Army National Guard
17330 Victory Boulevard, Van Nuys, CA 91406

Got Glass?

I've been obsessed with replacing all of our plastic food containers since I sat across from The Chronicle's environmental reporter during a meeting a few years ago and she held up a note reading, "STOP, put that down, don't drink!!" and pointed to my Nalgene water bottle. She told me that the hard plastic bottle was not  safe. A couple years later, the uproar over BPA erupted and that sealed it. I threw away virtually all of our plastic cups, plates and containers.

 
When Catcher was born last year, I vowed to use all glass bottles to feed him. That meant throwing away all the plastic Advent bottles I had saved from when Cash was a baby (that poor kid is clearly filled with toxins).

Initially I was obsessed with the WeeGo baby bottles because of the attractive silicone sleeve. They were designed with asthetics in mind and were even sold at the SF MOMA because they look so cool. I registered for them but didn't get any at my baby shower - probably because they are really expensive. And I realized that I could get cheaper regular glass bottles and buy a protective sleeve separately. They wouldn't be as attractive but I couldn't be THAT choosy. So I have been using the Born Free bottles to feed Catcher. Truth be told, I ended up staying home with him and he rarely had a bottle so it was a bit of a moot point anyway. But I digress.

The Lifefactory company, which produces the WeeGo glass bottles recently sent Milkshakes and Margaritas a sample of their 9 oz. bottle. It certainly looked good. In the name of testing the product's durability, I gave it to Catcher with water. He immediately started sucking on it even though his normal bottle has a much different nipple. And even though he threw it down repeatedly during the day, even onto pavement, it never shattered.

Even more importantly, I found that it fits on the breast pump attachments for the Madela Pump In Style. I have been using Evenflo and Medela glass bottles for pumping and I was pleased to see that the WeeGo glass bottle worked as well. What is the point of feeding your baby from glass bottles if the milk you are giving him is pumped into plastic and stored in plastic? I bought about 20 Evenflo glass bottles from another mom and use them to store and freeze my milk. While you would spend a fortune doing that with the WeeGo bottles, in blue, yellow, orange and pink, they are a great accessory to your baby.

Go glass!

Throw Grandma on the Floor

My 11-month-old son, Catcher, loves to look at pictures. He is always pointing to framed photos we have around the house and I try to talk to him about the people in them. But my husband has four siblings in addition to several cousins who are considered just as dear, so we haven't come even close to representing everyone on our walls. So when I saw the "Wall of Fam" that my friend Kate put up on her wall for her baby, I thought it was brilliant.

Fast Food for Babies

My baby Catcher loves to eat. But in juggling his six-year-old brother's busy schedule, I don't always get time to sit him down in his high chair to eat every meal. And if I give him a container of food to hold in the stroller, he'll just dump it out. Yesterday I made the greatest discovery -- if I put food in the scoop of his Kiddopotamus "Bibbity" he can eat directly out of it! I tried it first with banana pieces and he reached right into the bib's pocket and gobbled them up. Brilliant!

 As I was running with the stroller to pick up a book at the library for my older son, I joked to Catcher that he had fast food. His mouth was too full to laugh.

I love the Kiddopotamus line of feeding accessories anyway. We made one trip to a local spaghetti restaurant without one and left nearly an entire plateful of dropped pasta (with sauce!) on the floor. But when we went back with the combo of the Kiddopotamus place mat and bib, Catcher barely lost any food.

Both items are made of BPA-free plastic, are easy to clean up and roll up compactly. In addition, they are harder for kids to pull off because they have a little knob that fits into a hole to fasten it.

Check, Check, and Check Again

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a bit paranoid about safety. So I got a bit of a shock today when I was casually looking up the instructions for the Kelty K.I.D.S. Trek backpack I had bought at a neighbor's garage sale. I had used the backpack a few times but could never quite get Catcher strapped in comfortably. I figured I could quickly find the right way on-line before heading out for a hike.

What I found was that the backpack had been recalled because of a faulty seat height adjustment strap. The strap that holds the loop under his body -- and keeps him from falling out -- could slip out of its buckle.

Who Owns Your Favorite Organic Brand?

Ever wonder if your favorite organic brand has been snatched up by one of the big guys? 

Phil H. Howard PhD of Michigan State put together this research, as well as a full article providing more detail.

Originally found on the Kitchen.

School Photo Time Already?

Well, school photos are coming up soon and my oldest just lost one of his front teeth. He looks adorable, but I wouldn't have minded getting that school photo in first. Ah well. Aside from getting dentures, there are things you can do to help ensure a good (or better than usual) school photo... 

1. Avoid T-shirts with bold designs, cartoon images and phrases. They distract from the childs face.  

2. Solid colors, collared shirts and blouses look best in photos. And choose clothes that compliment your child's hair, eyes and complexion.

3. Hair off the face helps bring attention to the face and the expression, and no "bed head" for boys!

4. If you are planning a haircut, make sure you allow 10 days for the hair to grow out — even for bangs.

Tips courtesy of MugShots! 

SIGG Screwed Us

I just heard that SIGG bottles manufactured before August 2008 contain BPA and I'm pissed. A few years ago, I replaced all of our plastic drinking bottles with the aluminum SIGG bottles, which cost between $15 and $30 generally. I've even been nagging my mom to get rid of the "safer" BPA-free plastic bottles she got at REI recently because I was such a big believer in SIGG. Well, I got screwed, along with most of the people I know. Because SIGG's CEO just announced publicly that the older bottles have BPA in the epoxy liners.

New Baby Essentials

A friend is due in a couple of months and asked me what I recommended her buying/registering for to get them started. I think there are the obvious things, (car seat, changing table, diaper pail etc), but here are a few ideas I gave her and her husband that are not always 1st in mind. 

Waterproof Mattress Pad. Even if you don't co-sleep, you'll be doing a lot of cuddling and snuggling in your bed. Accidents happen - from the top and the bottom. Don't let a leaky diaper or spit up ruin your bed.

Cradler by Kiddopotamus. Keep their precious little heads from flopping about during those car naps with this adjustable head support. This is great for a toddler & young child as well. My boys are 3 & 6 and still use theirs.

Polar Babies Chammies. The softest and cuddliest cold weather jammies I've found.

And of course — our Smarts wall art! 

And don't forget about the new mommy. Here are a few essentials that I think all new mom's deserve. 

Massage and/or spa gift certificate. Even better if you can include babysitting to go with it. 

House Cleaning. Either a do it yourself coupon or gift certificate. 

Gift Certificate for a meal service or their families favorite take out restaurants. Or make a nice lasagna or soup for their freezer. Or a gift basket from the local grocer. We received a grocery bag from our preschool teacher of fresh ravioli, sauce, bread and dessert. It was such a great gift.

Dinner and a Movie

A couple of weeks ago we watched Pixar's Ratatouille. Shockingly, my kids were begging me to make the dish - even after I told them what vegetables are in it. Suddenly I thought - what is taking me so long!! They want to eat squash and zucchini!! So we went for it this weekend. Dinner and a movie. We watched Ratatouille (again), and we made Ratatouille (+ herb crusted Tilapia). It turned out delishous and they ate it up. 

Now they want me to make the soup from the movie. Whatever that was! Heck I'll make it up. I think this is a great way to get kids to try something new - pairing it with a movie or show. Now the trick is to think of some others...if you have any ideas - please share them with us.

Herb Crusted Tilapia 

(Makes 4 fillets. You could use other type of white fish as well.)

Mix the following together: 2 tbs chopped parsley, 2 tbs chopped chives, 2 tbs chives, 2 tbs tarragon, 3 cloves of chopped garlic, 1 1/2 bread crumbs, salt & pepper. Brush each fillet with olive oil and dredge in each side in the bread/herb mixture. Heat about 3 tbsp of olive oil in a large saute pan on medium. Once hot, saute the fillets in the pan on each side until the fish is cooked through. About 2-3 minutes on each side, depending on the size.

(note: I served this with a little sour cream & horseradish mixture)

Ratatouille

(Serves 4 as a side dish. Double recipe for larger portions.)

For this dish you'll need: 3 cloves of garlic, 2 tbsp of tomato paste, 1/2 can of diced tomatoes (no juice), 2tbs olive oil, dash of salt, dash of thyme, dash of oregano, 1/4 cup fresh chopped parsley, pepper to taste; 2 yellow squash and green zucchini, 1 medium red onion, 3 roma or plum tomatoes, 1 red and 1 yellow bell pepper, and parmesan cheese; and a baking dish.

 

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Slice the vegetables into 1/4 inch slices. Mix the 1st 9 ingredients together in a food processor. It will be a thick sauce. In your baking dish, pour a layer of the sauce down on the bottom of the pan. Next lay a thin layer of onion. Lay the the zucchini, squash and tomatoes alternating as you wish. They are like stacked like cards on their side. Next, lay the peppers around the edge. Lastly, pour the remaining sauce onto the vegetables. Cover dish with foil, and bake for 50 minutes. Remove from oven and remove foil. Sprinkle parmesan flakes on top and bake uncovered for another 10 minutes. Let cool for a few minutes and then bon appetit!

Easing Those Back To School Worries

 

A couple of weeks ago, a friend overheard our sons talking about 1st grade. What she heard wasn't the giddy excitement that I expected. But it was more about stresses and worries... homework, reading, harder math, and new kids. Makes sense, really. So I contacted a couple of respected teachers and asked for a few tips on how to help them get ready for a new school year. Here are a few of the thoughts that they shared...

Try to start getting on the schedule a week or 2 before school starts. Wake, eat and go to bed at the same times they would during the school year. 

Talk to your child about what they are worried and excited about. Write them down together. Have your child draw how they are feeling. Or make a list of the things they are looking forward to and also things they have questions about and share them with the teacher.

Read books about starting school, or being worried or scared.

Have 10 - 20 minutes of quiet time at home every day to help them settle down, and to get used to quiet time at school.

If it's your child's first time having lunch at school out of a lunch box, practice at home or at the park. Sometimes kids just don't know where to start. And it's a good way for you to find out if they struggle with any containers, before they come home hungry.

Create a small keepsake together that they can keep in their cubby or backpack. Sometimes a quick look or hug of a photo of Mom or Dad can make them feel better. 

Carry-on Essentials: Pack Drugs for Mommy and Baby

I've traveled a million times with my 6-year-old son Cash. We took him to Mexico when he was four months old and since then he's been to Germany twice, Costa Rica, Spain, England, back to Mexico several times and and all over the United States. But as we prepare for a trip to visit my in-laws in Florida, I'm starting to get nervous about traveling with the new baby. I'm scared I'll forget something important or that he'll cry hysterically on the plane or that he'll have a blowout. I'm literally almost hyperventilating thinking about it. It doesn't help that we have two layovers on the way.

Probably my most memorable trip ever was flying alone with Cash to Germany to visit my dad. He had just started walking (late) at 19 months and we were stuck in the middle of one of those long center aisles -- in one seat together, mind you. After walking the aisles forever and figeting in my lap, he finally fell asleep. So of course I wasn't going to move. There I was, stranded immobile in my seat. I barely dared even shift my body at all. I had to go to the bathroom but had to hold it for hours. I couldn't read because I couldn't hold a book and I couldn't even take the meal when it came around because I had no place to put it. And I wouldn't have been able to use my hands to eat it anyway. Then suddenly, Cash woke up, looked around and saw the fruit on other people's plates and screamed, "GRAPES!!" I looked at my neighbors in desperation and said, "It is in everyone's best interest to hand over the grapes." I still have nightmares about that trip.

So I'm trying to remember my tricks. Here's what I can recall. Please, please offer me help if there is anything you can think of.

Always travel with the Boppy. I love my Boppy and aside from using it to nurse, it is most comfortable to have the baby rest on it so that my arms don't get numb while he naps.

“Say hello to my little friend!”

Like many families, we've made some cuts in our spending this year. One of those cuts was to let go of our gym memberships. I was sad to do this, but I felt guilty paying the monthly fee when I wasn't going that often, and when I live in a city where it can be a workout just going out for milk. I want to lose a few pounds, so I consoled myself with... “I'll just use the city for exercise. I'll go for hilly walks at night. I'll go jogging in the morning.”  And I meant it. But the truth of the matter is that we're 8+ weeks into summer, and the booty is getting bigger, not smaller. I just can't bring myself to get up early enough to jog before the kids are up; and San Fran is COLD at night and I'm a wimp! 

So the other day I decided to try working out while I am with the kids. I don't mean making the kids watch while I make a fool of myself jumping around to a Billy Blanks tape. I've tried that and I still get embarrassed when Dillon shows people how mommy “exercises”. What I mean is working out while my kids are having fun. So as we were on our way out to the park, I grabbed my yoga mat, and away we went. While the boys played on the equipment together, I was able to get in about 30 good minutes of sun salutations and sit ups and keep a watchful eye. I felt a little weird at first, but I got over it quickly. And at the end I felt great. 

 

I know fitting in exercise is tough for many of us, and it is so easy to just skip it with the lure of extra sleep, or cuddling up and watching a movie. So why not yoga play dates? Or exercising while the kids play at the park or in the backyard? Do a few jumping jacks, maybe they will join in. Try a playground workout I found on Kaboose. Or if you prefer yoga — sun salutations are a great toning and stretch combination. Here are a few links to get you started:

Photo step by step sun salutation how to on about.com.

Sun salutation how to on youtube.

Benefits of sun salutations

Work it Baby!

I am definitely not someone who obsessively fits a workout into my day no matter what. I have a good friend who not only teaches a spinning class in the early morning a few times a week but uses her lunch hour almost every day to go to the gym. I don't even have a job and I don't do that. I am jealous of that kind of drive. But lacking any sort of real physical fortitude, I know that will never be me.

 

I was sick pretty much 24/7 during my pregnancy and couldn't choke down much more than yogurt and fruit at most meals, so I only gained about 20 pounds and I lost it within probably two weeks. But I soon started gaining weight at an alarming rate because literally the second I pushed that kid out, I was ravenous. I cannot stop eating. My favorite snack right now is a peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich.Sometimes I eat two a day. One night recently, I started entering my day's intake into the "Lose It!" app on my iPhone. I stopped after I got to lunch because I was already at almost twice my daily allowance of calories. Granted, I'm nursing so that makes me extra hungry and gives me a little leeway. But I figure that someday this piggish eating is going to catch up to me. And my husband is always harassing me to go to the gym -- not because he thinks I look like I need it but because he hates wasting the membership fee.

Without babysitting it isn't easy to get to the gym often. I can't see getting up at 5 a.m. to workout and I'm too tired after the kids are in bed. So my friend Naomi and I have come up with a great way to workout with our young ones in tow. We meet just before nap time at 9:15 a.m. at my house and walk the half a mile or so to the gym (with two good hills as a bonus) to get the babies (her son is 16 months and it still works!) to fall asleep in the strollers. Once we get them to sleep, we hit the 24 Hour Fitness "Fit Lite" gym and push the strollers around the circuit as we move from machine to machine. I imagine you might meet some resistance from employees of a regular gym because of safety issues but it works well in a casual setting. Look around your town to find smaller gyms. In my neighborhood, there are a few store-front gyms where I could likely get away with this. And now I can eat those peanut butter sandwiches without guilt!

Lunch Can Be Fun

Creating Private Spaces for Siblings

I have found that I am never able to finish decorating my boys room, because as they continue to grow — their needs change. 

Recently I realized that with their high energy, they really need more floor space. So I pulled out our cozy rocking chair and a few other items to give them more room to jump around. 

They’ve also begun to need some space away from each other — and since they share a room, that can be difficult. Sometimes we set one child in another room with toys, and that works fine. But there are occasions when they both need time away from each other, but don’t want to leave their bedroom. So I am finding ways to create private spaces within their room.  

My mom sent me a Teepee a couple of years ago that she bought at an arts and crafts show. The teepee came out occasionally, but recently it has become a permanent fixture in their room. I throw a couple of floor pillows in there and voila — an instant private space. They also cuddle up in there together sometimes — so cute! 

The best part is, when they want to run around or build a massive train track, it folds up easy and put I it to the side. (Really - you just pick it up and it collapses - easier than an umbrella!)

 

Clockwise from left to right. Children’s Play Tents (where ours is from), Just Ducky Tents, Indoor Outdoor Playouse by Table 5, House by Kids On Roof

Tips for Traveling with Kids

I’ve taken both of my boys back east quite a few times on my own — and those 5+ hour flights can definitely be a challenge. I recently had a friend with a 7 month old ask me for some tips for taking a long plane trip with their daughter, so I dug out a few tricks for them to try, and thought I’d share them with you.

Toys in a Baggie

I put a bunch of small toys my child liked, rattles, doll, keys etc into a ziplock baggie. He had as much fun rummaging through the bag and pulling different toys out, as he did with the toys. (great for around 6+ months)

Diaper Ready Pack

After getting doused while taking too long rummaging through a full diaper bag during a diaper change on the plane — I learned a quick lesson. Make your own single diaper change ready pack. Put a diaper, some wipes, and the little changing pad in a zip lock. That way you just grab that out for the diaper change. Even if you have the whole bag with you, you grab the baggie and have everything you need. Get back to your seat and refill it for the next change. I did the same thing with a change of clothes. (great for any age in diapers)

Create Your Own Snack Pack

I think all kids are suckers for packaging. Most flights sell those snack packs, but the contents are not very healthy. Really, they are just full of sugar and who knows what else. So last time we flew, I created my own Snack Pack. I grabbed a couple of the to go containers from the grocery store, and filled it with healthier goodies like: small apple (or banana), fruit leather, string cheese, & crackers. I put a little napkin on top and sealed it up. I decorated the outside with stickers and topped each with a label with their name on them. My kids were thrilled to have their own snack packs and didn’t even cry when I denied them the Southwest Sugar Pack this time. It felt like a winner. (great for any age)

Presents! Presents! Presents!

This is a trick a friend shared with me and it worked great. The last time I tried this, Liam and I had a 5 hour flight. So I wrapped up 5 small toys in tissue paper and packed them in his back pack. I picked up small, inexpensive items like: match box cars, coloring book, little note pad and pen, story book, mad libs, mini rubix cube... you get the idea. He didn’t find out about the gifts until we got onto the plane. When I told him that each hour he was allowed to open a new present — he almost burt with excitement. We’d check the clock and then we’d make a little event out of picking out each one. Then he’d play a while, and just about when Liam would start getting restless, it’d be time for a new present. (great for any age)

Our snack pack tip is featured on Ohdeedoh. Check it out.

Mommy is Dating Again

Everyone warned me that having a second baby would be 100 times harder than having just one child. So I was prepared for the extra work. But what has reduced me to a sobbing pile on the floor has not been the extra work exactly — it has been how much I miss my older son.

Cash and I have been nearly inseparable for the past six years. I even defied his preschool teachers to keep him out of his full-time program the two weekdays that I was off of work so that we could have those days to play and explore the world together. So when Catcher arrived seven months ago, it rocked both our worlds. And he has turned to Daddy to fill the void. I know I should be happy, and in many ways I am. They have become closer than I ever thought they would be. They share secrets, wrestle on the floor and go out for ice cream and movies. But I'm left behind, nursing on the couch every three hours, looking longingly after them.

  

This isn't to say that I'm not enjoying my time with Catcher. I never thought I could love another child as much as I loved Cash, and of course that changed as soon as I met Catcher. But my heart still aches for my time with Cash.

Don’t Let That Money Burn a Hole in Your Kid’s Pocket

My mom always used to tell me that money burned a hole in my pocket. It was true. As a kid I loved to spend, spend, spend! I stood before the candy bins for hours, picking out different types. I threw away money on trinkets. But when I was a teen-ager and started babysitting regularly (for $1.25 an hour!!!), I started putting my earnings away and each year bought myself a plane ticket to visit my best friends back East. What it took to change my habits was a real goal to reach for.

My 6-year-old Cash seems to have matured faster than I did. When Cash declared that he wanted the Bugville Butterfly Treehouse, in which you watch larvae grow into butterflies, I told him that I did not have the money for it but that he could save up for it. After haggling a little over why I couldn’t use my credit card or just go to the bank and get money from the ATM to get some cash (man, this kid is savvy!), he agreed that it was a good idea to put his money away to buy the butterfly garden, instead of throwing his quarters into every gumball machine we passed.

There has been some waffling. Whenever we pass the local pharmacy and he sees the little plastic Pooh bears nestled in their adorable costumes, he lunges. I remind him that it will likely get lost or end up among the piles of useless junk in his room. When that doesn’t work, I pull out a very un-PC ammunition — China. “It’s from China. Lead!” I say in an alarmed voice. He's still so angry about the recall of his beloved Thomas the Train Ice Cream Factory that the reminder jolts him back to his goal. Even though I'm stereotyping an entire country and culture, it has worked well to stop fights cold in the toy aisle.

We put out three jars, one for spending, one for saving and one for charity. I told him that I expected him to put some money into all three. I said that it was reasonable to occasionally spend a little on a gumball or the like but that most of the money should should go into the savings jar. He's still not so keen on the charity jar but I’m working on him.

More on Birthdays

As I posted earlier, I chose a simpler birthday for Liam this year. But this year was Dillon’s first birthday party with more than just the family. I had a lot of fun with it, without going too crazy, so I thought I’d share it with you. His request? “a cowboy party, momma ... pweeeeze”. Who can say “no” to that?

I designed the invitations as a wanted poster that the kids could cut out a hole and put their faces into. The plan was to take photos of them with the poster, but it was too windy so we unfortunately had to give that idea up. 

 

I concocted this dark chocolate s’mores cake and with luck it turned out. I purposely left the sides unfrosted so you can see the yummy stuff inside. It looks a mess, but it was delicious! Guests were asking for seconds before I could finish serving everyone their first piece. If we had a grill available, a good alternative to cake would have been a pile of traditional s’mores.

(co-writer Tanya’s son Cash, and my oldest, Liam)

Instead of the usual favors, I opted for cowboy hats, bandanas and mustaches. The kids, (big and small), had a great time with them, and the hats were great take-homes for future hoedowns and showdowns. 

These, along with a checked table cloth and picnic blankets made the decor. It was almost too easy to put together.

I redesigned the invitation so it can be printed at home. They are normally for sale on my etsy shop, but I am posting it for a free download for the month of July. You can also download the cake recipe later today— in case you are feeling adventurous. 

A Simpler Birthday

I love my little boys. With all my heart. And I always want them to have fantastic birthdays. I have a lot of fun making stuff for their parties, creating the theme, designing the invitation, decorating the cake, coming up with games etc. I also enjoy the kids and what a great time they have together. On top of the party, we always have a family day, and then there is usually a close “auntie” or “uncle” that couldn’t come which makes for one more celebration day. This is all grand, but it’s hard to keep up. On top of it, Dillon and Jeff (my husband) have the same birthday, and Liam’s birthday is right next to Father’s day. The week before can get a little crazy and I can get a little (ok, a lot) overwhelmed. So this year I made a decision. Since I know I don’t want to give up the birthday creativity forever, but I also know I need to give myself a break once in a while, I decided we’ll do a party every other year. This year being my year off. I talked it over with Liam, framing it as - one year we’ll do a special family outing, and the next year you can have a party. So far - he loves it.

Instead of a party with his friends, we just had a “playdate with sugar”. Really. It was a weekday, I emailed friends a few days before to meet at the park. I bought the cake. (big deal for me). It was a beautiful day and the kids were happy. They did not miss the fancy invite, or the games. They ran around, played T-ball and played on the swings! And towards the end we sang “happy birthday” and had cake and juiceboxes. There was also no present drama, or favors that get broken or tossed in a mere couple of days. There was also no parent pressure. Really, since there wasn’t weeks of notice, presents to buy or lots of build up, I don’t think parents felt they had to kill themselves to come. And the ones that did knew it’d be pretty mellow. Which it was. 

We still had a family day, which was a fathers day / birthday combo, and we took the boys to the local amusement park and had a blast. We still had a few presents at home and cake. But it was more intimate and my back doesn’t hurt.

Turn on the TV kids!

My 6-year-old son Cash and I have always fought fiercely about TV and video games until recently. He would wake up in the morning wanting to watch TV -- or worse, he'd wake me up in the wee hours of the morning to ask if he could get up yet to watch television or get on the computer -- and then he'd beg and whine all day for more. I don't mind him watching some TV every day (although I am pleased when we get through a day with no TV), but once he starts, he has a hard time shutting it off. I knew we had a problem when he yelled, "SCORE!" after hitting my mom with a flying remote control for shutting off his favorite movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, before he finished all the extra features.

So I took a new tack after a friend pointed out that we all enjoy a little TV downtime after a hard day. I don't watch much TV other than The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, but when I am especially wiped, I'll admit that I like to tune into Desperate Housewives (of course, come on, I write a parenting blog called Milkshakes and Margaritas!) or Weeds. Because we do tend to do a lot of activities every day, I decided to schedule daily "downtime" for Cash. Now he knows that television is allowed only during that scheduled period -- usually at around 5 p.m., which has the added bonus of giving me time to make dinner and a good reason to shut it off when it is time to sit down to eat. If he asks for it in the morning or any other time, I shrug and say, "Sorry love, you know you don't get TV or computer until your 'downtime.'" Amazingly, it has worked! He has accepted it! He's even stopped trying to get his downtime in the morning. I told him that he only gets the break after he's actually earned it by getting outside or at least doing something. Sleeping does not qualify!

And now when downtime hits, he really embraces it. He has taken to watching TV with his shirt off -- like his daddy apparently does as  watches sports when I'm not home. I half expect to see Cash with a beer and his hand under the waistband of his pants Al Bundy style. 

The system isn't perfect. This morning, when he headed toward the computer in the office and I warned,  "Cash, don't get on the computer," he turned to me and repeated me in a mocking falsetto, "Cash, don't get on the computer, Cash, don't get on the computer." I was so shocked that I felt like Homer Simpson: "Why you little......!!!" and had to hold back from chasing him down.

But despite that cheeky response, the new routine has worked well. And he's even learning to tell time because I make him study the clock every time he asks me how long he has until his "downtime."

I know I'm not alone in the TV battles so if you have other TV solutions, share them with us!

I’m rubber, you’re glue...

What do you do when someone, a stranger, makes a comment about your parenting? The first reaction from the moms in my son’s playgroup was to tell the person, “Mind your own f-ing business.”

But in an era when we are all neurotic about out parenting, it isn’t that simple. My friend Naomi and another mom were just finishing their lunch at the Nordstrom Cafe Bistro in the Westfield San Francisco Centre recently when her 4-year-old son and his two friends started running around the casual cafe screaming.

“Control your children,” came the sharp rebuke from a woman, sending Naomi into a tailspin. She was horrified by the remark and did not know what to say. She was conflicted herself about her son’s behavior. She said it was like she was in a cartoon with two balloons over her head: One saying, “Who cares what they say, I’m a good mom. What is wrong with them?!”, the other saying, “Maybe they are right, maybe I am a terrible mom. Maybe I need to change what I do.”

I still regret not seriously telling off a man who made a comment to me about my letting my 5-year-old son pick “treats” off the shelves as we shopped in Whole Foods last year. I was hugely pregnant and terribly sick from around the clock “morning sickness.” My husband was at work late that evening and I absolutely had to go grocery shopping after I got home from work because we had nothing in the house for that night or for school lunch the next day. I dragged myself off of the couch and threw up into the kitchen garbage can to drive 15 minutes to the store. When we got there, I paused every aisle or so to dry heave. It was dinner time so it was no wonder that my son was hungry and I had no energy to fight when he pulled things off the shelves. So yes, I let him have a few snacks. But that meant dried veggie sticks, organic yogurt tubes and a fruit leather strip. Afterall, we were at Whole Foods. It wasn’t like he was picking candy off the shelves. As we were leaving, some guy getting into a sports car (meaning he either had no kids or had a mid-life crisis and had left his family) made a snide remark about my son’s “dinner.”

Of course it doesn’t matter and I’m sure the guy forgot it before he was out of the parking lot. But it just eats at me that I let someone treat me that way, that I let him question my parenting.

The problem is that we let these people feed into our insecurities about our parenting. We all want to give our kids healthy, unprocessed foods at every meal. But you know what, I’m not always up to cooking and more than I’d like I reach for the frozen foods or a box of macaroni and cheese (the good kind of course). And of course I hate to use the television as a babysitter. But sometimes I have to in order to get work done or to clean the house or feed the baby. So we need to let go and be secure knowing that we are good parents, no matter what strangers say!

Please tell us your stories of strangers’ comments and your responses.
 

The Bambi Moment

My husband and I thought the Pixar's new movie “UP” was great. It was sweet, funny on many levels for both kids and adults, and had drama. The only flaw was our 6-year-old son Cash was nearly traumatized by it. And from the number of crying kids we heard in the theater, I don’t think he was alone.

I had heard from a friend that early in the movie there was a Bambi moment, when the main character’s wife dies. I warned my husband just as it was coming and he distracted our son with some candy. First crisis averted. But when a whirling storm threw the house around and it looked like the end for Carl and Russell, Cash covered his face and whimpered. Then came a big bird who turned out to be friendly but only after it was touch and go for a few minutes. When growling dogs who could talk turned up on the scene, Cash had had enough and began repeating, “I want to go home.” Even the humor in the malfunction of the scary dog’s talking collar that made his voice squeaky and high-pitched was lost on him. The 3D just made it worse.

Scene after scene, we kept saying that it would get better but it didn’t. I was actually surprised how dark the movie was. I took him out into the lobby and we returned when we heard people laughing only to be scared out into the lobby again repeatedly. Of course the movie ended happily but it didn’t matter to Cash. He was traumatized and left saying that he hated the movie.

It was disappointing to have another movie for kids that seemed from the sunny advertisements on buses and billboards that it would be great for a kindergartener. But it wasn’t. It seems geared more toward older kids, tweeners maybe. You’ve been warned.