Milkshakes and Margaritas — a blog for the modern mom

More on Birthdays

As I posted earlier, I chose a simpler birthday for Liam this year. But this year was Dillon’s first birthday party with more than just the family. I had a lot of fun with it, without going too crazy, so I thought I’d share it with you. His request? “a cowboy party, momma ... pweeeeze”. Who can say “no” to that?

I designed the invitations as a wanted poster that the kids could cut out a hole and put their faces into. The plan was to take photos of them with the poster, but it was too windy so we unfortunately had to give that idea up. 

 

I concocted this dark chocolate s’mores cake and with luck it turned out. I purposely left the sides unfrosted so you can see the yummy stuff inside. It looks a mess, but it was delicious! Guests were asking for seconds before I could finish serving everyone their first piece. If we had a grill available, a good alternative to cake would have been a pile of traditional s’mores.

(co-writer Tanya’s son Cash, and my oldest, Liam)

Instead of the usual favors, I opted for cowboy hats, bandanas and mustaches. The kids, (big and small), had a great time with them, and the hats were great take-homes for future hoedowns and showdowns. 

These, along with a checked table cloth and picnic blankets made the decor. It was almost too easy to put together.

I redesigned the invitation so it can be printed at home. They are normally for sale on my etsy shop, but I am posting it for a free download for the month of July. You can also download the cake recipe later today— in case you are feeling adventurous. 

Save Those Boobs for Daddy

I’ve been amazed at how many baby products have come out since my first son, Cash, was born six years ago. At that time, it already seemed like there was a gadget for every possible scenario that could arise in parenting. My mom of course commented that when my brother and I were babies she didn’t have all these “things” and we slept in a drawer, blah, blah, blah, blah… 

But even she has had to admit that some of the new baby and maternity products that have come out in the ensuing years are fantastic, like the Bumbo seat that props infants as young as six weeks in a sitting position. Sometimes we put Catcher in it and plop him on the dinner table like a centerpiece so that he can feel like he’s really part of the family while we eat. 

My current favorite is the Hooter Hider, a cotton nursing cover that loops around your neck and has an underwire-like ring at the top to allow you to see the baby. They come in a variety of chic colors and styles. Some of the styles are a little loud and may draw more attention than a boob would, but for the most part, they are made of pretty hip fabrics. There are several companies that offer similar products but none have that irresistible name. I found it a little disappointing that the company making Hooter Hiders felt like it should sugar coat the issue and now offers covers for the more reserved mom under the label Bebe Au Lait. 

At first, my husband balked at spending nearly $40 on the contraption because he thought that I could just use a blanket to cover up. But he changed his mind after the blanket kept dropping off, allowing my nipple to pop-out. He now thinks it was money well spent. It isn’t that I have a problem with pulling the boob out in public to feed Catcher. At this point, they are just functional (It doesn’t help that whenever we play Charades, Cash says, “Oh, I know what you are: A COW!). But sometimes it is distracting to be nursing, say during a business meeting. Since Catcher is almost always with me, he’s been to many of those. And I’d rather that the person concentrates on what I’m saying rather than focusing on trying not to stare at my breast.

This past weekend, we went to a coed baby shower. I was sitting in the back of the room when it was time to nurse Catcher. Because a loud band was playing at the front of the room where I had left my stroller, and thus my Hooter Hider, I just pulled down the side of my v-neck shirt and popped Catcher on. As I sat there, my friend Priscilla grabbed one of her relatives for an introduction. After looking down in um, Catcher’s direction for probably 30 seconds, he gasped and said, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I was just staring at your boob!!” I wasn’t at all embarrassed and we all laughed. At least he acknowledged it. I’ve got that Hooter Hider for the guys who won’t admit it!

photo credit: www.bebeaulait.com

Mind Candy

I love when I can steal 10... 20... Okay... 50 minutes here and there to browse blogs, online magazines and what not. Here are a couple of sites I’ve recently discovered. I hope you enjoy.

Papier-Mache Magazine - I think the layout of this issue is just stunning.

Studio Violet - they make all kinds of sweetly illustrated goodies.

Good Life Eats - a personal blog with delicious looking recipes and great photos.

Ebay Find - Magic School Bus

My son Liam loves the Magic School Bus series. We check a couple out of the library every week or so. Yesterday he told me “Mom, if you want me to learn a bunch of stuff, you should get me magic school bus. Those books make me smart.” It’s true that he recites all kinds of facts that he gets from the books and shows. So why not?

If you are looking to add some to your library, you can find lots on ebay often for a pretty good price. Visit here for one I found today.

Round Up - Things To Do In The Bay Area This Weekend

This is their last weekend so don’t miss the San Francisco Ethnic Dance Festival at the Palace of Fine Arts in SF. 37 companies, 20 countries. Children under 16 are half price. Shows are Saturdays at 2 & 8p.m. and Sunday at 2p.m

 

Swazzle Puppets presents River Otter Circus at the Golden Gate Valley branch of the SF library, Saturday 1:30-2:15p.m., and at the Mission Bay Branch at 4p.m. Cost is free. 

Perhaps more of an event for mommies... Maison Reve is holding their french flea market, Brocante, this Saturday, June 27th from 8a.m. to noon. You’ll find all kinds of vintage treasures abound in their Urban Farmhouse Garden. Maison Reve is in Mill Valley, check their website and blog for more information.

Mommy’s New Drug

At a recent party, a friend asked me how I managed to have so much energy even though I have a 7-month-old baby and a lively 6-year-old boy. I reached into my purse and pulled out the secret behind my wide-eyed look and seemingly endless energy – chocolate covered espresso beans. I keep them in a baby food jar and carry them with me everywhere.

 

I’m totally a pusher too. I hand them out like…well, like candy.

“Twenty years ago, you would have been handing me an eight ball,” joked the father of two as he eagerly accepted my offer of a quick high. I was a bit of a goody two shoes when it came to drugs even back then, but still the analogy was a reminder of how much life has changed.

 

The espresso beans are my lifeline. When I had a regular job, I managed to make it through the day without coffee. I almost never needed caffeine. And it isn’t like I didn’t have a demanding job. A newspaper reporter is always on deadline. I even worked a late night shift, covering breaking news from 4 p.m. to midnight on Sundays, and still managed to be up with Cash at 6:30 a.m. and back at my desk at the Chronicle at 8:30 a.m. without coffee. But somehow, being a stay-at-home mom has kicked my butt.

Between the kids, keeping the house clean (ok at least not filthy), the late-night pumpings, and the occasional writing I am doing when the opportunity comes up, I am so tired and overworked that I fall asleep at inappropriate times and do weird things. I was flossing my teeth while watching TV a few weeks ago and the next thing I knew, I jolted awake. I had fallen asleep – with a floss sword stuck in my teeth.

Good thing my husband wasn’t home. Talk about a turnoff. Nothing could be as un-sexy as that – except maybe putting your thong underwear on sideways. I did that too in a haze one morning. I wondered all morning why my underwear seemed to be riding so high up on my back. But we were out for most of the day and I was wearing the baby in the Ergo carrier so I didn’t get a chance go to the bathroom for about four hours. That’s when I finally discovered the problem.

And last week, I feel asleep during one of my son’s doctor’s appointments – and the doctor called me out on it. I didn’t say that I had been out drinking. I blamed it on the 4 a.m. pumping. Ooops. Should have popped some of those magic pills.

 

I get mine at Trader Joe's but they are also available at your local Peet's Coffee. Tell us your secrets for staying awake!

Kitchen Closed Sign

I made a pdf of my kitchen closed sign mentioned in the earlier post. Feel free to download and try it out.

No Roosters Allowed!

When Liam was about 2 & a half, he became afraid of roosters. I have no idea where it came from. We didn’t visit a farm, or see any rooster movies. But he was scared of them, and almost every night for a week he would wake up afraid of a rooster coming into his room. Finally one night, I made a “no roosters allowed” poster, with a big cross out circle over a photo of a rooster. When Liam woke up, I showed him the poster and he was so relieved. When hanging it on the door, I was putting it up kind of high and he said “Momma, hang it low so the roosters can see it!” (of course - duh!) 

There were no more rooster issues after that night, and it made me aware the power of signs. Since then, I use signs in my parenting here and there. I even post an occasional “kitchen closed” when I need to get dinner ready and they won’t give me a moments peace. And recently I’ve added a “flush the toilet”. Enough said.

 

I found these signs on John W Golden’s etsy shop and they reminded me of the rooster sign. I just love them. Totally my style too - I love working with the vintage signage era. Check out John’s signs, or make your own. It works!

A Simpler Birthday

I love my little boys. With all my heart. And I always want them to have fantastic birthdays. I have a lot of fun making stuff for their parties, creating the theme, designing the invitation, decorating the cake, coming up with games etc. I also enjoy the kids and what a great time they have together. On top of the party, we always have a family day, and then there is usually a close “auntie” or “uncle” that couldn’t come which makes for one more celebration day. This is all grand, but it’s hard to keep up. On top of it, Dillon and Jeff (my husband) have the same birthday, and Liam’s birthday is right next to Father’s day. The week before can get a little crazy and I can get a little (ok, a lot) overwhelmed. So this year I made a decision. Since I know I don’t want to give up the birthday creativity forever, but I also know I need to give myself a break once in a while, I decided we’ll do a party every other year. This year being my year off. I talked it over with Liam, framing it as - one year we’ll do a special family outing, and the next year you can have a party. So far - he loves it.

Instead of a party with his friends, we just had a “playdate with sugar”. Really. It was a weekday, I emailed friends a few days before to meet at the park. I bought the cake. (big deal for me). It was a beautiful day and the kids were happy. They did not miss the fancy invite, or the games. They ran around, played T-ball and played on the swings! And towards the end we sang “happy birthday” and had cake and juiceboxes. There was also no present drama, or favors that get broken or tossed in a mere couple of days. There was also no parent pressure. Really, since there wasn’t weeks of notice, presents to buy or lots of build up, I don’t think parents felt they had to kill themselves to come. And the ones that did knew it’d be pretty mellow. Which it was. 

We still had a family day, which was a fathers day / birthday combo, and we took the boys to the local amusement park and had a blast. We still had a few presents at home and cake. But it was more intimate and my back doesn’t hurt.

Read until you drop

One of my favorite moments as a parent was when we were on a long drive last year and Cash started giggling to himself in the backseat while reading a Mrs. Piggle Wiggle book. Reading has always been my favorite way to spend free time. In elementary school, my babysitter would kick me off the porch where I was reading to force me to go play. In middle school, I volunteered at the local library and would take out towering stacks of books. And even as an adult, if I am reading a good book, I will walk down the street with my head buried in the book because I don't want to put it down. Cash now does the same. And I love that he is enjoying some of the same books I read as a child.

I started reading to him when he was just a few weeks old, and we still cuddle up in his bed every night for a at least a half hour of reading time. It will break my heart when he doesn't want to do that anymore. It is always one of my favorite times of the day. And he loves it when I'm so tired that I fall asleep while I'm reading and say something silly as I drift off into a dream. Once instead of "bull fighting," I read, "snake fighting." He likes to recount the story and say, "...and then we laughed our heads off." Our reading time is a special bond that we share.

So Cash was very excited to sign up for the San Francisco Public Library's "Read it and Green It!" summer reading program. Children up to age 13 can sign up for the program (there is a separate program for teen-agers), which rewards any kid who has read for 15 minutes a week with a chance at prizes such as tickets to a Giants baseball game, the zoo or the Academy of Sciences in a weekly raffle. Those who read eight hours total during the summer earn a grand prize. They can choose from a variety of rewards, include tickets as well as books and a hand-powered flashlight. Youngsters who hit 16 hours qualify for a raffle of a bicycle, a family pass to the California Academy of Sciences and a gift certificate for a music store.

 

To sign up, you have to go to a San Francisco library branch. The program started in June and runs through Aug. 8. For more information, go to the website or stop by.

If you don't live in San Francisco, check with your local library. Chances are it offers some sort of summer reading program.

In Marin, go to http://www.marinlibrary.org/

In Alameda County, go to http://www.aclibrary.org/

In Contra Costa County, go to http://ccclib.org/

And in Santa Clara County, go to http://www-lib.co.santa-clara.ca.us/

You can also find reading clubs online, such as the Super Why Right On Read-a-Thon where you can download a chart to keep track of your child's reading progress and then print a reward certificate.

 

Shake Your Booty at Stern Grove

My good friend Vicki founded and leads an incredibly talented dance troop called Dholrythyms. The 3rd Saturday each month, she and DJ Jimmy Love hold a night at the Rickshaw called Non Stop Bhangra. The mix of a traditional Indian harvest dance and music will mesmerize you, while familiar elements of Hip Hop, Reggae and House music work into the mix. It is great fun for grown ups. 

Vicki also teaches classes to children and you and your family can join in the fun at the Stern Grove Festival this year. My boys love to shake their booties. No kidding. Music comes on and they start a shaking. So this year I am registering early. Don’t miss out. The classes fill up fast and they are super fun, and a fantastic workout. (And they are free).

 

Summer with the Kids & Memories of a Rat

I have cut down my work schedule this summer. It was largely because work has slowed down and it wasn’t making sense to add more babysitting. So my husband Jeff and I decided that between summer camps and family visits, we’d only end up with a few weeks of no childcare and I’d try to juggle keeping a small amount of work with having my boys. I am really glad for this time with them, especially as I see the baby leaving them both so quickly. (Dillon just turned 3 & Liam 6). This new situation also worries me a bit because, well, “Mommy just isn’t that fun for more than 4 hours. I’d like to say I have all these crafts and projects planned. But I don’t. I am working on it. So far I have a standing weekly play date with a group of families, library afternoon — and Chuck E Cheese.

Yep I said it, and did it. Something I always swore I wouldn’t. But Liam got Chuck E on the brain. Asked, and asked, and asked. I found out Cash had the same idea, so Tanya and I went together. It actually wasn’t too bad. The kids had a great time. We got to visit a while between games. I do think we had a few things going for us that helped the trip: We got there when they first opened, and on a weekday. It wasn’t nearly as crazy in the a.m., than it was starting to become in the afternoon when we left. I went with another Mom that I like to hang out with. We found coupons on their site and saved a bunch on the food and tokens. A bonus was that I signed up for their Chuck E Club and was emailed even better deals. I think we had about 100 tokens, one pizza and salad, and five drinks by only spending $30 a piece. For three boys. The other nice thing is they have a child-to-parent check at the door so you feel a little more secure that your kid won’t go out the door with a stranger, or on their own. One quick warning if you go to their web site — they have loud music playing with no off button. I had my volume up a bit and nearly jumped out of my seat when the site loaded.

 

The downside is the pizza is not good. If you eat meat I suggest you get pepperoni because the cheese pizza is really dry. Even Dillon, who is an eating machine, wouldn’t eat it. I am glad I got a salad because I was able to stock up on veggies for him. I also remember from when I worked there back in high school, the sandwiches weren’t that bad. Oh yeah. I worked there in high school. I was a birthday party hostess. It was fun... ball pit, helium balloon tanks, pizza. Tips and a $4.25 hourly wage. What more could a 16-year-old girl want in a job? Oh, and there was that time I got mauled. Which I completely forgot about until we were there. 

Normally, the same kid would come in to dress up like Chuck E. for the birthday parties. Keep in mind that Chuck E was much, much shorter back then. And much less hip. Anyway. The Chuck E kid didn't show up that day, and we had all these birthday kids waiting for the rat to come out. The parents paid for this and were getting impatient. There were four girls that hostessed the parties. The manager said one of us would have to wear the suit. Next thing I know, everyone had disappeared and he asked me to dress as Chuck E. I was worse at saying “no” then, than I am now. I agreed... reminding him that I was way too tall for the suit. We all were. That’s why they hired a kid just for that job. 

 

So I put on the suit and of course it didn’t fit right and my neck was sticking out between the head and the suit. I went out there, waved a little bit, and then a family asked me to hold their baby for a photo. Like a 4 month old baby. I go to hold the baby and I’ve never worn this suit before so I forget that there is a big, long nose... I bump the baby on the head with the nose. After that, I head for the front of the room. To get there I had to go up the ramp, around the birthday pit to the stairs. There was about a five stair decent and then you are in the pit. About three stairs down some kids yelled “There’s a person in there!!!”. Suddenly, all these kids were attacking me! I’m lying on the ground and a bunch of kids are trying to pull of the head off the suit. Another kids pulls off one of the gloves. I was completely helpless and the manager had to pull them off me and escort me to safety. 

 

So this latest trip to Chuck E. Cheese wasn’t nearly as traumatic, even with the bad pizza. I suggest you try it. The trip, not the rat suit.

photo credit: http://michellewright.wordpress.com

Give Daddy a puffy shirt and head to the Pirate Festival this weekend!

Ahoy Mateys! Grab your baby daddy and the kiddies and head to the Northern California Pirate Festival on the Vallejo Waterfront for Father’s Day Weekend. You can’t go wrong with pirates and beer — something for the whole family.

The vast array of entertainment will include “demos of all things pirate and nautical,” sword-fighting, cannon battles, magic and comedy by Capt. Jack Spareribs, a scavenger hunt and of course a pirate and his parrots.

Admission is free and the festival runs Saturday from 10 a.m. to dusk and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. You can take the ferry to the festival, which is next to the Vallejo Ferry Terminal.

For the Daddy Who Likes to be Pampered

Here are some ideas to for the daddy who likes to be pampered.

Spa day. If you are in San Francisco, the Kabuki Springs Spa is a local favorite. (and ours). Or if your daddy doesn’t like going to the spa, but does like his bubble bath. You could make him a home made salt or sugar rub, (recipe below). Put it in a nice jar, pair it with some bubble bath and nice shaving cream. (My hubby’s favorite is the Alba mint shaving foam) Then just set up the tub and ipod in the bathroom and ... voila. 

Salt Scrub

1 part oil (try light olive)

1 part sea salt

3-5 drops of essential oil. (try almond, peppermint, vanilla or eucalyptis. Lemon is nice too.)

 What daddy wouldn't like to get a set of coupons made by his family. There are a lot of different ones out there. To make it easy, we’ve created a set that you can download for free and print at home. (shown above) Or make your own! Some ideas to include are: back rub, car wash, a cuddle session, making him dinner, taking out the trash, a family hike, a day alone, a special “you name it”.

Turn on the TV kids!

My 6-year-old son Cash and I have always fought fiercely about TV and video games until recently. He would wake up in the morning wanting to watch TV -- or worse, he'd wake me up in the wee hours of the morning to ask if he could get up yet to watch television or get on the computer -- and then he'd beg and whine all day for more. I don't mind him watching some TV every day (although I am pleased when we get through a day with no TV), but once he starts, he has a hard time shutting it off. I knew we had a problem when he yelled, "SCORE!" after hitting my mom with a flying remote control for shutting off his favorite movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, before he finished all the extra features.

So I took a new tack after a friend pointed out that we all enjoy a little TV downtime after a hard day. I don't watch much TV other than The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, but when I am especially wiped, I'll admit that I like to tune into Desperate Housewives (of course, come on, I write a parenting blog called Milkshakes and Margaritas!) or Weeds. Because we do tend to do a lot of activities every day, I decided to schedule daily "downtime" for Cash. Now he knows that television is allowed only during that scheduled period -- usually at around 5 p.m., which has the added bonus of giving me time to make dinner and a good reason to shut it off when it is time to sit down to eat. If he asks for it in the morning or any other time, I shrug and say, "Sorry love, you know you don't get TV or computer until your 'downtime.'" Amazingly, it has worked! He has accepted it! He's even stopped trying to get his downtime in the morning. I told him that he only gets the break after he's actually earned it by getting outside or at least doing something. Sleeping does not qualify!

And now when downtime hits, he really embraces it. He has taken to watching TV with his shirt off -- like his daddy apparently does as  watches sports when I'm not home. I half expect to see Cash with a beer and his hand under the waistband of his pants Al Bundy style. 

The system isn't perfect. This morning, when he headed toward the computer in the office and I warned,  "Cash, don't get on the computer," he turned to me and repeated me in a mocking falsetto, "Cash, don't get on the computer, Cash, don't get on the computer." I was so shocked that I felt like Homer Simpson: "Why you little......!!!" and had to hold back from chasing him down.

But despite that cheeky response, the new routine has worked well. And he's even learning to tell time because I make him study the clock every time he asks me how long he has until his "downtime."

I know I'm not alone in the TV battles so if you have other TV solutions, share them with us!

One man’s trash is his wife’s babysitter

My 6-year-old son Cash and I are constantly battling my husband over trash. We set aside yogurt containers, egg cartons, berry baskets and the like for art projects. And half of them disappear.

“What, I thought that was trash!” is my husband’s befuddled defense. But Cash can turn anything into art. Give him an empty tea box, two toilet paper rolls and a styrofoam mushroom container and he’s made a castle, complete with a draw bridge. He’s obsessed with the British kids’ craft site and television show, Mr. Maker, and some days he even entertains himself for hours with a string of projects. A bowlful of fake ice cream scoops from an old sponge, a pencil-shaped pencil holder from a paper towel tube, fake books to hide stuff in from cereal boxes...it goes on and on.

So when a friend gave me a San Francisco Chronicle article about a showing of Don Carlson’s metal sculptures, welded from recycled materials that were described by writer Regan McMahon as mesmerizing even for kids in strollers (I have one of those too), as part of the Pro Arts East Bay Open Studios this weekend, I knew we had to go. It was just a bonus that some of the pieces look like robots (another one of Cash’s obsessions), including what McMahon described as a “mock-monstrous creature whose pointy teeth are clenched closed” that is actually a functioning barbecue with smoke venting through its nostrils.

On his Rude Designs website, Carlson says his work reflects the concept of infusing life into trash.

His showing, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., at 674 35th Street in Richmond is part of the Pro Arts East Bay Open Studios that will feature more than 400 artists at locations from Oakland to Richmond on Saturday and Sunday.

Check out the full schedule and map at http://proartsgallery.org/ebos/pdfs/EBOS2009Directory.pdf

Color Photo Scavenger Hunt

My 3 year old, Dillon and I went for a nice long walk the other day. I wanted to get some exercise, so to make it more fun for him we held a color scavenger hunt along the way. Dillon chose “blue”. And while we walked, he pointed out the colors and I photographed them. We had a great time and it sparked great conversations about the objects. 

I then put the photos together and printed them on nice paper. Here’s the result. I have an Ikea frame patiently waiting for them. I think next time I’ll print them out and let him cut them out and glue them down to create his own collage. 

Things To Do In San Francisco This Weekend

San Francisco’s Botanical Garden Society presents Nests, a photographic exhibition by SF photographer Sharon Beal. Helen Crocker Russel Library at the SF Botanical Garden. The gardens are also a great place to have a picnic and discover “secret paths”. It's one of my 5-year-old son's favorite places.

The Exploratorium is offering a free interactive exhibit where you can learn things like how to use the Golden Gate Bridge as a thermometer. The exhibit is located at Fort Mason between the SF Aquatic Park and the Marina District.

Kids can learn to make fabulous flowers from recycled paper and share a story. June 13th, 11am, Park Brand Library. Call 415-666-7155 to find out more.

And of course the Farmers Markets. A bevy of color, people watching and delicious goods. Great place for a scavenger hunt. Saturday there is the Alemany Farmers’ Market (starts at 6 a.m.); the Ferry Plaza Market (starts at 10 a.m.); and Sunday there is the Marin County Farmers’ Market at the Marin Civic Center (starts at 8 a.m.). 

As always, check the venue's website or call to confirm time, cost and location. And if you have an event you’d like to share, please email us at hello@baby-bot.com

photo credit: www.ojinaga.com

June Give Aways

Mary Pols, Author of Accidentally on Purpose has offered our readers a signed copy of her book. Please comment below and we’ll pick a winner at random on July 1st. For a full description of her book, look below to see our posting about her book or visit her website.

Don’t Miss These Great Etsy Finds for Father’s Day!

1. pirate & ninja checker set

2. secret decoder card

3. hand screened silk neck ties  

4. unique cufflinks from watch parts

5. lego storm trooper cufflinks

6. sweet & spicy nuts

7. super hero fathers day card

8. layla macbook padded sleeve

9. cool printed man-scarf (for that great San Francisco summer weather)

Turn your one night stand into a sitcom!

Mary Pols, author of the book Accidentally on Purpose is giving a reading Thursday June 11th, 7:30 p.m. at Mrs. Dalloway’s Bookstore, 2904 College Avenue, Berkeley, CA. 

You gotta read Mary’s “Accidentally on Purpose,” recently released in paperback. This book is funny, poignant and above all, Mary is absolutely fearless in how she walks the reader through this chapter of her life. And what a chapter it is. Mary is 39 when she hooks up with a guy for a one-night stand. He’s much younger, cute — hey, what the hell, she was unattached at the time. But whoops — she gets pregnant. She decides she wants to the baby — and tells Matt (the guy)  — that he doesn’t have to stick around. But he does, in a mellow way, and they forge a very 21st century parenting duo that is by turns exhilirating and frustrating. CBS is launching a sitcom based on the book this fall starring Jenna Elfman and former “Melrose Place” stud Grant Snow, so come see Mary before she becomes the next Diablo Cody.

If you just can’t get away from the kids, bring them with! She’ll provide homemade cupcakes to bribe them to be quiet!

Mary has offered our readers a signed copy of her book. Please comment on our giveaway posting and we’ll pick a winner at random on July 1st.

I’m rubber, you’re glue...

What do you do when someone, a stranger, makes a comment about your parenting? The first reaction from the moms in my son’s playgroup was to tell the person, “Mind your own f-ing business.”

But in an era when we are all neurotic about out parenting, it isn’t that simple. My friend Naomi and another mom were just finishing their lunch at the Nordstrom Cafe Bistro in the Westfield San Francisco Centre recently when her 4-year-old son and his two friends started running around the casual cafe screaming.

“Control your children,” came the sharp rebuke from a woman, sending Naomi into a tailspin. She was horrified by the remark and did not know what to say. She was conflicted herself about her son’s behavior. She said it was like she was in a cartoon with two balloons over her head: One saying, “Who cares what they say, I’m a good mom. What is wrong with them?!”, the other saying, “Maybe they are right, maybe I am a terrible mom. Maybe I need to change what I do.”

I still regret not seriously telling off a man who made a comment to me about my letting my 5-year-old son pick “treats” off the shelves as we shopped in Whole Foods last year. I was hugely pregnant and terribly sick from around the clock “morning sickness.” My husband was at work late that evening and I absolutely had to go grocery shopping after I got home from work because we had nothing in the house for that night or for school lunch the next day. I dragged myself off of the couch and threw up into the kitchen garbage can to drive 15 minutes to the store. When we got there, I paused every aisle or so to dry heave. It was dinner time so it was no wonder that my son was hungry and I had no energy to fight when he pulled things off the shelves. So yes, I let him have a few snacks. But that meant dried veggie sticks, organic yogurt tubes and a fruit leather strip. Afterall, we were at Whole Foods. It wasn’t like he was picking candy off the shelves. As we were leaving, some guy getting into a sports car (meaning he either had no kids or had a mid-life crisis and had left his family) made a snide remark about my son’s “dinner.”

Of course it doesn’t matter and I’m sure the guy forgot it before he was out of the parking lot. But it just eats at me that I let someone treat me that way, that I let him question my parenting.

The problem is that we let these people feed into our insecurities about our parenting. We all want to give our kids healthy, unprocessed foods at every meal. But you know what, I’m not always up to cooking and more than I’d like I reach for the frozen foods or a box of macaroni and cheese (the good kind of course). And of course I hate to use the television as a babysitter. But sometimes I have to in order to get work done or to clean the house or feed the baby. So we need to let go and be secure knowing that we are good parents, no matter what strangers say!

Please tell us your stories of strangers’ comments and your responses.
 

Beehive Kitchenware

These adorable spoons are from a Massachusetts shop called Beehive Kitchenware. I love the detail of the little backsides on the back-side of the spoon. Sandra and her husband Jim have been exhibited at the Museum of Arts and Design in New York.

Let your man create “art” with the Flip

My husband loves to abuse the video camera. He walks around taping everything. “Here’s the credenza, here’s the couch...oh look, it’s Tanya,” usually right when I have Medusa hair and have on ripped sweats or something like that. So the palm-sized Flip video camera is perfect for him – but a horror for me.

If your man also likes to capture life’s “real” moments, the Flip video camera would be a great Father’s Day gift. It is fairly affordable, with the basic at $150 and the high end one in HD at $229. You can also create custom design with your own photo or artwork, or choose one of their designs. They have all kinds of categories: sports, retro, tattoos, nature, solid colors, Hello Kitty... Barack Obama! The list goes on and on. There are also Flips for good, where $10 of the purchase price goes to a variety of charities.

He can walk around with it in his pocket and then and slip it into the USB port to upload the inane videos he’s made. I’m sorry, he calls it “art”. But it is also easy enough to capture every sporting moment or cute school performance by your kids. We used to constantly find ourselves saying, “Doh, we forgot the video camera.” Now we almost always have it with us. And instead of piles of video tapes that we never watched, we have the video instantly on the computer to upload to You Tube or send to relatives.

And yesterday we captured our 6-month-old son’s first laughing fit. Priceless.

Bartender, I’ll Take a Book with My Beer

If your guy is the brooding literary type, or if he just enjoys a good book, “B is for Beer” by Tom Robbins is a gift that will say “I understand you.” For my husband, it combines two of his great loves, reading and beer. And he has taken its double billing as “A children's book for grown-ups” and “A grown-up book for children” to heart and has been reading parts of it with our 6-year-old son. Since the main character in the book is a kindergartener too, our boy is enthralled. Plus, he knows the value of beer in his dad’s life and likes bonding over it.

The back cover describes the book as involving readers, “young and old, in a surprising, far-reaching investigation into the limits of reality, the transformative powers of children, and of course, the ultimate meaning of a tall, cold brewski.” It is no Ulysses but who has time for that with kids anyway.

Daddies Look Good in T-Shirts

Every daddy likes (and looks good in) a new T-shirt. Here are a few of our favs...

(clockwise from left to right)

Vintage Schwinn Old School Bike from Happy Family by Metro Three.

Samurai Rabbit from Fat Rabbit Farm.

Alien Glow from Chopping Block.

Roverbot from Robotcha. 

June Give Aways

This month we’ll be giving away a Big and Lil shirt set from Baby Bot. You can choose from any Big and Lil combo. Just comment below and we’ll draw a name at random on July 1st.

For Geeky Daddies We Love

Well, fathers day is coming up and it’s time to honor our beloved hubbies that take such good care of us. We’ll keep posting ideas all week, but we’re starting with some geeky ideas for our geeky but ever so cuddly daddies.

For the SciFi loving daddy get a Box set of BattleStar Galactica DVD's (the new series), or the much less expensive The Shatner Show, by Uppercase. If he’s outdoorsy and geeky there’s a Swiss Army Knife with a 1GB MP3 Player, FM Radio & USB Flash Memory. And for the graphic designer geek daddy, I love the Typtopus shirt or Miss Futura print from Inkfinger Sutter on Etsy.

The Bambi Moment

My husband and I thought the Pixar's new movie “UP” was great. It was sweet, funny on many levels for both kids and adults, and had drama. The only flaw was our 6-year-old son Cash was nearly traumatized by it. And from the number of crying kids we heard in the theater, I don’t think he was alone.

I had heard from a friend that early in the movie there was a Bambi moment, when the main character’s wife dies. I warned my husband just as it was coming and he distracted our son with some candy. First crisis averted. But when a whirling storm threw the house around and it looked like the end for Carl and Russell, Cash covered his face and whimpered. Then came a big bird who turned out to be friendly but only after it was touch and go for a few minutes. When growling dogs who could talk turned up on the scene, Cash had had enough and began repeating, “I want to go home.” Even the humor in the malfunction of the scary dog’s talking collar that made his voice squeaky and high-pitched was lost on him. The 3D just made it worse.

Scene after scene, we kept saying that it would get better but it didn’t. I was actually surprised how dark the movie was. I took him out into the lobby and we returned when we heard people laughing only to be scared out into the lobby again repeatedly. Of course the movie ended happily but it didn’t matter to Cash. He was traumatized and left saying that he hated the movie.

It was disappointing to have another movie for kids that seemed from the sunny advertisements on buses and billboards that it would be great for a kindergartener. But it wasn’t. It seems geared more toward older kids, tweeners maybe. You’ve been warned.