A Simpler Birthday

I love my little boys. With all my heart. And I always want them to have fantastic birthdays. I have a lot of fun making stuff for their parties, creating the theme, designing the invitation, decorating the cake, coming up with games etc. I also enjoy the kids and what a great time they have together. On top of the party, we always have a family day, and then there is usually a close “auntie” or “uncle” that couldn’t come which makes for one more celebration day. This is all grand, but it’s hard to keep up. On top of it, Dillon and Jeff (my husband) have the same birthday, and Liam’s birthday is right next to Father’s day. The week before can get a little crazy and I can get a little (ok, a lot) overwhelmed. So this year I made a decision. Since I know I don’t want to give up the birthday creativity forever, but I also know I need to give myself a break once in a while, I decided we’ll do a party every other year. This year being my year off. I talked it over with Liam, framing it as - one year we’ll do a special family outing, and the next year you can have a party. So far - he loves it.

Instead of a party with his friends, we just had a “playdate with sugar”. Really. It was a weekday, I emailed friends a few days before to meet at the park. I bought the cake. (big deal for me). It was a beautiful day and the kids were happy. They did not miss the fancy invite, or the games. They ran around, played T-ball and played on the swings! And towards the end we sang “happy birthday” and had cake and juiceboxes. There was also no present drama, or favors that get broken or tossed in a mere couple of days. There was also no parent pressure. Really, since there wasn’t weeks of notice, presents to buy or lots of build up, I don’t think parents felt they had to kill themselves to come. And the ones that did knew it’d be pretty mellow. Which it was. 

We still had a family day, which was a fathers day / birthday combo, and we took the boys to the local amusement park and had a blast. We still had a few presents at home and cake. But it was more intimate and my back doesn’t hurt.

Comments

[Lisa]

Hey Danielle,
Nice idea. I wholeheartedly support you as I try to be a low-key parent myself. I really like the "just play with a few friends" idea, and congrats to you for being smart enough to realize you don't have to kill yourself with crazy parties to be a good parent.
btw, I'm Tanya's friend. :) You should impart this wisdom on her.

[Stacey]

Hi, I'm just a stranger that wandered on over here and am enjoying skimming your blog (although I should be showering or cleaning while the baby sleeps!).

Just wanted to say that my sister and I have birthdays just three weeks apart and my family did the every-other-year party thing. One year I would have a "friends" party and she would pick something fun to do with the family (six flags! camping! all day movie marathon!) and the next year we would switch.

It worked out great for us.

I now have a six month old and two and half year old and already feel the pressure. It is amazing how birthday parties seem to be getting crazier and more high stress for both the hosts and guests. I hope I can continue to cling to simplicity and help our children manage expectations as we celebrate their birthdays each year.